(HER) LEADING THE REPAIR

Are you as a woman leading the repair in your relationship?

Sister,
If you are the one leading the repair in your relationship and outsourcing coaches for your male partner so that he can do the work to become a better man for you…

So that you can finally feel seen, heard and met in your relationship…

I suspect you may not like what I am about to share…

But if you are willing to really take this in - this post is going to change your life. 🌹

You leading the repair in your relationship and outsourcing coaching options for your man is counterintuitive to what you actually wish to happen.

You solving problems for your man tells me:

1️⃣ You are repeating the same patterns & cycles that created this ongoing disconnect in the first place.

2️⃣ You don’t understand the masculine or the man you are in a relationship with (another big reason to your disconnect).

3️⃣ You’ve operated from your masculine which has led to you experiencing your man as passive (not taking initiative and not meeting your needs).

4️⃣ Your man carries underlying (unconscious) resentment towards you. This contributes to him not wanting to show up & meet your needs.

5️⃣ You’ve contributed to (yet not fully at fault) to your man losing touch with his masculine core.

6️⃣ You don’t know how to communicate your needs & feelings to your man in a way that he truly hears you and can show up for you.

7️⃣ You haven’t felt safe to surrender and soften into your feminine. You find it difficult to trust without you being the one who does everything.

8️⃣ Your man has lost touch with his purpose in your relationship. You’ve taken the most important thing away from him by doing it all yourself. The need for purpose to your man is like your own need for safety. (Hence why you are trying to solve this problem to find a sense of safety again).

This simple action/behaviour tells me SO MUCH about what is happening in your dynamic (and also how to repair it).

In short,

Here’s what you have been doing:

➡️ You’ve blamed him for being the problem (the reason why you don’t feel seen, heard, valued, loved, appreciated).

➡️ Now that you’ve identified him as the problem - you now try solving this problem by finding someone to solve your problem.

My love,

Pause……. Take a breath.

And now, may I invite you to truly LISTEN…

Solving your relationship disconnect with the same level of thinking/behaviour that got you into this place in your relationship - is not going to solve it.

You need a new approach.

An approach & a level of understanding that creates change at the core.

And here’s where my work comes in.

I’ve got you. 🌹

Your man “doing the work” might still be needed.

Just like you “doing the work” is needed.

Your work begins at this level - how you approach this situation and what you do / don’t do next.

Want to create change that lasts and be in a relationship with a version of your man who shows up for you - helping you feel safe, seen, heard & deeply loved?

Welcome to my world of transformational relationships.

All my love,

Linda x