“I’m so wet for my man but he doesn’t want it. I feel rejected. Doesn’t he love me anymore?”

This is a question I get asked just as frequently as hearing:

“I wish he’d just hurry up and got it over & done with already” (which I spoke into in a post a few days ago).

The opposing perspective/reality is also deeply valid.

Firstly,

May I share that I cannot reference ‘all’ men. As there will indeed be cases where a man has fallen out of love and is no longer attracted to his woman.

In this instance, if this IS true -

There is a reason why the relationship (and absence of attraction) got to this point.

The core issues that were present in the relationship never got addressed.

This often comes down to unmet needs - the little things that took place daily that led to a much bigger problem.

Secondly,

As hard as this may be to hear - This could also stem from the fact that you as a woman stopped looking after yourself.

You ‘let yourself go’ and in the process completely depleted your life force. You brought a sense of “deadness” into your relationship.

The radiant flower that you once were, that magnetised the bees to her - turned into a dead weed in the garden.

You lost touch with yourself, your body, your feelings, your life force, your playfulness, your aliveness.

And now, the outcome is a very unfortunate one.

**Yes this goes both ways**

We could also throw in other things, such as…

- He carries s/xxual trauma
- He is attracted to men

HOWEVER,

Let’s come out of the ‘SOME’ cases bucket for a moment.

In MOST cases when a man doesn’t desire to be physically intimate with his female partner does not mean that he has fallen out of love, or that he thinks she’s no longer beautiful or desirable.

Beyond low testosterone levels that could be at play -

What a man is often navigating is something very internal that has nothing to do with his woman.

For example, if a man experiences

An identity crisis
Disconnection from his purpose
Low sense of self
Numbness
Depression
Severe exhaustion
Lack of physical activity (that increases his testosterone levels)

- can all play a part in why he feels no desire for physical intimacy.

This isn’t a reflection of her (you). 🌹

And this to him doesn’t mean that there is anything ‘wrong’ in the relationship.

However, for a woman -
The feelings of rejection here can be very real.

One of the core needs of a woman (beyond safety) is to feel loved. ❤️

And a major way how she (the healthy feminine) feels love from her man is by experiencing him close physically.

This is also when she feels safe, chosen, connected, desired and ALIVE.

The very things she needs in order to feel ‘met’ by her man.

When a man suddenly stops desiring s/xx in a relationship - it can feel challenging to not take this personally.

The truth is -

Even a healthy relationship has seasons and cycles.

It’s not always about what happens in the dynamic - but HOW we navigate adversity and challenges.

How deeply we understand our partner.

How we can remain connected in other ways if personal adversity is present that affects the dynamic.

How we support our partner in what they are going & growing through.

How we attend to each others needs (that may change through times like these).

How we communicate (it all begins here).

A healthy conscious relationship isn’t about fighting to have our own needs met.

It requires a new approach.

One with curiosity, openness, patience, compassion, gentleness & understanding.

And unfortunately - this is a language that many relationships lack.

Would you like to come back to balance with your boo?

Would you like to learn how to navigate the different seasons in your relationship?

Would you like to clear the small unconscious daily things that might currently be slowly moving your relationship down the drain?

I know how to help ❤️

You gotta take the first step in reaching out.
AND,
You gotta be open to doing the work, looking at your own part, and also implementing new ways & behaviours.

Changing nothing - changes nothing.

Yet the ‘nothing’ could also slowly be moving you into a slippery slope of “WTF happened to us”…

Don’t wait.

Conscious relating requires you to become conscious of the things that are happening here & now - and use that information as fuel to make changes so that you can keep thriving in love long-term. ❤️😮💨

Talk soon.
I’ve gotchu.

Linda x